Dad-Part 7-The Later Years

Mom and Dad were smokers since they were teens. I remember learning about how bad smoking was in school and trying so hard to make them quit. I tried different things-singing the annoying song about how unhealthy smoking was that we learned in school every time they lit up, adding up how much cigarettes cost them per month, and my personal favorite-hiding their cigs. My secret place was under the china cabinet in the living room. When they got new furniture they were very confused at why there were so many packs of cigarettes under the cabinet! They knew smoking was bad for them and causing their health to decline, but they were addicted and despite many attempts, they weren’t successful for long.

Dad developed emphysema/COPD. It was difficult for all of us to watch his health change. Dad eventually needed oxygen all the time, which he hated. It took him a long time to even use his hearing aids, let alone the oxygen! He was embarrassed by it, but eventually realized that he really needed it. Dad did find some comfort at Degraff Hospital in North Tonawanda where he volunteered. Some of the other volunteers also wore oxygen so he felt better about using it. Dad eventually lived at Elderwood (an assisted living center) in Lancaster. This was a difficult time for all, but still many memories were shared. Here is a humorous story from Daryl:

"I was planning to ask Kristen’s dad if I could marry her. Since he was at Elderwood and I would have to let him know I was coming, I decided I should call instead. I practiced my speech over and over until I was ready. One night in November of 2006, I called him. It went something like this:
Dom: Hello
Daryl: Hi, it’s Daryl
Dom: WHO?
Daryl: Daryl-Kristen’s boyfriend.
Dom: oh-hi…need something?
(I was planning to make small talk here but figured I better just get to the point – as Dom didn’t seem chatty.)
Daryl: I’m calling to ask you something. I’m calling to ask if I can marry your daughter.
Dom: huh?
Daryl: (louder this time) I’d like to marry your daughter!
Dom: What!?
Daryl: (shouting this time) I’D LIKE TO MARRY YOUR DAUGHTER!!
Dom: WHO?
Daryl: “Kristen”(the only one left)
-long pause…seemed like forever-I was already thinking about what I could do with the ring, then all of the sudden…
Dom: I AGREE!
At this point, I wasn’t totally sure that he was agreeing to what I asked, but I was taking it! I asked him not to tell anyone-another risky thing as I didn’t know if he heard that part! In the end, it all worked out great. He knew exactly what I was asking…and he agreed!"

Our wedding was one of my favorite memories with both Mom and Dad. Daryl and I had looked into getting married later in the summer. When we found Shadow Lake and knew that was the place we wanted to have the reception, the only date they had left for the summer was June 2, 2007 so we took it. Thankfully, we did get married earlier than we planned. By the end of June Mom was in the hospital and Dad’s health was worse. The aisle at our church was long and I knew it would be too long for Dad to walk me down. He was using a walker at that point and was really only comfortable walking short distances. Plus, I knew he would be nervous so I figured his breathing would be even more labored. I decided to have John push him in a wheelchair while I walked along side. Or at best, Dad could walk the last few feet …maybe. The rehearsal had come, and to my surprise Dad walked the whole length of the aisle! I was amazed, but a little sad thinking that he used up his energy and tomorrow he wouldn’t be able to do the same for the big day. But the wedding day came and Dad again walked me down the aisle with tears in both of our eyes! It was incredible. Our pastor said it was the most emotional walks down the aisle he ever saw.

Dad’s health continued to decline. In the winter of 2008, he was told he would have to leave the assisted living center and go into a nursing home. At that point, John and Jeanne graciously offered for Dad to live with them in Florida. It was a hard decision for Dad and hard for all of the family too. He made a list of his pros and cons and the pros won. The tricky part was trying to figure out the best way for Dad to get to Florida. It was February and would be a long trip by car. Dad was very anxious about flying on a commercial flight. Then John saw something on TV about a medical flight that flies from Buffalo to Port Charlotte-minutes from the Oddo’s house. It was truly a miracle. Dad would fly on a very small plane with a pilot, nurse and EMT. He would be able to have his oxygen, medical care and be on a stretcher. Buffalo Hospice and Florida Hospice helped make everything a smooth transition. The Oddo’s were all set to give Dad the best care he could get. The plane would have room for 1 extra person to fly down with Dad. Daryl was feeling helpless in this situation and really wanted to help. He offered to be the extra person. The day Dad left, the family gathered at 339 for one last time. Dad assigned his Shultz and Dooley mugs to people, took lots of photos and said his goodbyes. Then, they boarded the plane and took off. That was hard for me…putting my 2 best guys on a teeny, tiney plane, in the middle of winter. Prayers were answered and they arrived safely. Daryl noticed a change in Dad instantly. He said that he hadn’t seen Dad so sharp, witty and happy in a long time. Dad right away was cracking jokes and being himself. Daryl remembers Dad standing up quickly out of his chair at dinner to go get another plate of spaghetti. Dad was walking around, talking more, having a great time. I was so thankful for Daryl to see this side of dad before he passed. Daryl recalls another funny moment in Florida. Jessica picked up TeeWee-their tiny dog and was talking to her. Dad said “and to think-they wanted to put me in the nut house!”

Dad had almost 1 week with the Oddo's. Every day I talked to him he sounded happy. He was always sure to tell me how well he was eating! The Oddo's enjoyed their time with Dad also.

On February 16, 2008, Dad peacefully left for Heaven.